Diary of a detox

Posted on by Beyond Bespoke

The three-day Smooth and Tone programme from Nosh Detox promises to be a ‘toxin-mopping, fat-busting, skin-smoothing virtuoso of a diet programme’. Time we tried it out, then…

It is a truth universally acknowledged that January is a terrible month to start a detox. Look around you and you’ll see people falling off wagons left, right and centre – it’s cold, it’s dark, it’s invariably miserable and bowls of hot comforting food and lashings of red wine are the only logical response. Why anyone would want to punish themselves further in the unloveliest months of the year is beyond me.

February, on the other hand, is a great month to start a detox. The days are getting longer, for the first time in months there’s a little warmth in the sunshine, and there is a very real chance that you will have to expose some naked flesh in the not-too-distant future, which, in my mind, adds up to an incentive. A detox now seems like a Very Good Idea Indeed.

In the hope of feeling healthier and looking sprightlier, I decide to sign up for the three-day antioxidant-packed ‘Smooth and Tone’ detox programme from the good people at Nosh Detox– a luxury ‘gut-healing, collagen-rich, toxin-mopping, fat-busting, skin-smoothing virtuoso of a diet programme’, which is suitable alongside exercise. At the very least I thought I might have a bit more vim and vigour in the morning. I might even lose a pound or two along the way, as the idea is to achieve ‘rapid but sustained weight loss’.

Having taken delivery of my food and juices for the next three days, each day individually packaged with a helpful little menu, I inspect the contents over my breakfast – a raw porridge with fresh fruit smoothie, which is pleasantly filling and takes me through to my mid-morning superfood smoothie and lunchtime protein-rich raw salad (white cabbage, courgette, red pepper, pumpkin seeds, cherry tomatoes and dressing). Mid-afternoon I tuck into my Nosh raw fruity snack bar and for supper it’s a curried cauliflower soup. It’s Day One of my first detox and so far, so good. I even manage to get through my hour-long circuit training without collapsing through hunger as I assume the plank position.

It may be my imagination but I seem to get out of bed faster in the morning (I’d like to be able to say I jump out, but that would be stretching it). Another organic breakfast smoothie and mid-morning superfood smoothie takes me through to my large, healthy lunchtime bowl of cold pasta salad, which comes with olives and pumpkin seeds and tastes so nice I forget I’m on a detox. In the evening I have my favourite meal of the detox, a red pepper Thai soup, which comes in such a big bottle that I decide to split it across two evening meals. No hunger pangs, and no cravings for red wine or any other verbotem food either. Curiouser and curiouser.

The last day of the detox and I am definitely feeling a little sprightlier of foot and looser of clothing (by that I mean that my jeans have developed a pleasing gape around the waistline). Lunchtime is a salad and for supper it’s a parsnip and cabbage soup (which tastes far nicer than it sounds). Again, I go to bed without any hunger pangs – although admittedly I have brought my bedtime forward to almost the same time as my four-year-old daughter to avoid temptations of any kind.

The Verdict
As detoxes go this wasn’t bad at all. I had expected to feel hungry at least some of the time, but the pangs were always held at bay by a filling combination of homemade and nutritious organic smoothies, soups and salads. The jury’s out as to whether my ‘gut has been healed’ and my ‘toxins mopped’ but I definitely lost a few pounds over the three days and it worked well alongside my exercise regime.

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