Susie Ambrose once helped an affluent aristocrat find his perfect partner. Now they’re happily married with children and Susie is CEO of successful elite dating company, Seventy Thirty. This week she enlightens us to the importance of compatibility in a relationship
C is for compatibility
‘Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies’ – Aristotle.
From antiquity to the modern day, dating has established itself as a ritual which we have long considered as the precursor to assessing the suitability of a potential life partner. Once you have moved past the initial attraction stage, setting meaningful goals in a relationship can help ensure that you are on the same page as a couple, which also helps keep a relationship vibrant rather than static. There is also more likelihood that the relationship will succeed in the long-term if the couple has shared values and goals that are complementary.
The most important point is that you need to make sure your partner is compatible with you, using background, life-style, sexual attraction and relationship goals as the four main parameters. There are of course other factors to consider like socio-economic status, family and political and religious values.
You should never compromise your core values for a relationship
If you want a fulfilling, long-term relationship, you need to be realistic about the effort needed to maintain chemistry and you need to think about these compatibility factors. You should never compromise your core values for a relationship, so it is essential that you set some boundaries and have a clear idea of what you would like. Once you have identified the tangibles – wanting children, views on marriage, health and lifestyle habits – it is imperative that you stay open minded because many people may be compatible with you without sharing your exact interests.
This does not mean that you should ignore physical attraction chemistry and lust altogether, it is about prioritising what is important and making sure you have the best chance at love. When a person addresses their own needs, this tends to increase their self-esteem and confidence, and if love is approached in this way you are more likely to meet people who will be compatible with you, as well as increasing the probability of the relationship working out.
We can learn a lot from ourselves from past relationships, so you may not have met the right partner this time, but you probably learned something valuable along the way that will help you and prevent the same thing happening the next time around. Remembering that a good partnership is about compatibility between two people is essential. It is like the Rolling Stones famously said: ‘You can’t always get what you want, but if you try, you sometimes get what you need’.
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