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The A-Z of elite dating: F is for first impressions

Posted on by Beyond Bespoke

We all know how important first impressions are: within seconds, your date will have formed an opinion of you, whether it’s your image, body language or attractiveness. First impressions and first dates go hand in hand – think of elite dating as an exciting time in your life because it means you have the opportunity to meet an incredible person, if not a potential partner, a possible friend, says Susie Ambrose

F is for first impressions

Is image as important as personality? To answer this, let’s think about how a relationship starts. We meet someone to whom we are ‘attracted’ to in some way, we have great chemistry with them, we build a connection, that connection becomes a bond and the chemistry becomes less explosive and more stable as the bond is cemented. We initially assess someone’s image to give us clues to someone’s deeper character and what this person will be like in the long-term. It may not be as important as personality, but for most people, image plays a very important role in igniting the fire; it’s the gateway and can be important in the long-term to keep that flame burning.

Our image is very powerful as it’s a reflection of our personality and values (among other things, for instance status), but it shouldn’t be confused with ‘looks’; it’s how we present ourselves. We shouldn’t compare image to personality, we should combine them because that’s sexy. At the same time, don’t let your intrinsic self be over-shadowed by your extrinsic self, because nothing’s more alluring than a genuinely charming and charismatic character. We can create attraction regardless of our looks, even in a world focused on surface beauty.

Non-verbal behaviour is also key when it comes to first impressions because it makes up about 70% of our communication. Therefore, it’s not necessarily what you say, it’s how you say it that’s important. Make sure you smile, make eye contact and be aware of your tone of voice, as all of these factors will go a long way in creating a good first impression. A momentary exchange of glances opens a non-verbal dialogue, which is loaded with sexual potential. If you were to be a little more flirtatious, hold their gaze for a little longer, be more complimentary. We all love compliments!

We’ve all heard the saying ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’ and it’s true. Although the person may not initially fit your ideal in terms of humour, love and intelligence, get to know someone before writing them off as you might be surprised or even intrigued by what someone has to say. As you know, beauty is but skin deep and beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

For more information, visit Seventy Thirty

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