Founder of Seventy Thirty, Susie Ambrose, says that establishing relationship goals that are meaningful will not only influence the direction it’s heading in, but will allow you to feel in control and more secure. Knowing if you’re on the same page as your partner is essential in ensuring you aren’t wasting time in an unfulfilling relationship
G is for goals
Having clear and honest relationship goals means you can focus your attention and effort on finding the right person. Once you move past the initial attraction stage, setting meaningful goals in a relationship ensures that you’re on the same page as a couple and also helps the relationship stay vibrant. A person knows what they’re looking for in a potential partner and if a couple has shared values and complementary goals, there is more likelihood that the relationship will succeed in the long-term. Establishing goals such as, ‘I want to get married and start a family’, or ‘I want to enjoy myself and not get tied down just yet’ means you won’t waste time seeking something that you ultimately don’t want.
It’s about making sure you’re giving yourself the best chance at finding real love
Setting goals not only helps outline what each of you would like from the relationship, but it also means having the support of someone who understands you and what you’re trying to achieve – it creates intimacy and encourages open and transparent communication. Once you’ve defined realistic goals, like ‘do you want marriage and children’, ‘which aspects of your life are you willing or not willing to change’, or ‘where do you see yourself in six months? A year? Ten years?’ then you can work as a couple to put the steps in place to making a relationship work and succeed.
Where there are differences in your visions, you may need to work together, communicate, and look at ways that you can both compromise. Though it’s important to understand your partner’s goals, make time to reassess your individual and relationship goals as these may change over time and you need to make sure that both of you feel like your needs are being met. Both partners should feel some level of control, so creating joint goals allows you to feel a greater sense of security. Taking a more pragmatic approach to love and having more realistic expectations can be an empowering process. This doesn’t mean that chemistry, lust and attraction aren’t important – it’s about making sure you’re giving yourself the best chance at finding real love.
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